-This is pathetic.

-Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel 4 Exclusive, Brian?

-They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works all the time.

-This lady has crawled into Ron's head.

-What did you say?

-Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I have just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what your doing and listen.

-(Baxter Barking)

-It is Anchorman, not Anchorlady, and that is a Scientific fact!

-It's terrible. She has beautiful eyes and her hair smells like cinnamon.

-Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them?

-I stabbed a man. In the heart.

-Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?

-Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint.

-What in the Hell's Diversity!?

-Ron, I know this sounds harsh...

-I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's REC room, and they would not stop screaming.

-The following is based on actual events...

-Where are you?

-Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.

-Well, is it or not?

-Do you really want to know what love is?

-I read somewhere that periods attract bears. They can smell the menstration.

-I'm gonna punch you in the ovary. Right in the baby-maker. Straight shot.

-Bob Dylan once wrote: The times, they are a-changing.

-Mmmmmm. I look good, I mean really good.

-Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?

-You can use my office and maybe afterwards we could go to lunch!

-Ron, are you paying attention?

-Rule Number One: No touching of the hair or face!

-May I take your order?