Brick Tamland or Patches O'Houlihan

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Can you name the Quotes said by either Brick Tamland (Anchorman) or Patches O'Houlihan (Dodgeball)?

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QuoteBrick (B) or Patches (P)
It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there.
I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.
Take care of your balls and they'll take care of you.
I pooped a Hammer.
I would like to extend to you an invitation to the Pants Party.
You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat.
You've gotta grab it by its haunches and hump it into submission.
Loud Noises!!
I Love Lamp.
That *guy* can play.
I stabbed a man in the Heart.
Where'd you get your clothes... From the... toilet store?
I ain't crazy and I ain't a Guy.
Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine.
Mm. I just burned my tongue.
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
I ate a Big Red Candle.
I've got some hookers in my room.
You're about as useful as a *poop* flavoured lolly pop.
He said Heinie!!

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