Can you identify who said this on Lost?

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Can you name the Can you identify who said this on Lost??

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QuoteCharater
You finally learned how to tie your own shoes
Well, maybe we're just not cool with you setting up your own little Patriot Act
If you say 'live together,die alone' to me, Jack, I'll smack you across the face
 
Sure I'm affected. She was hot and I dug her accent
No, my dad taught me how to drink
If you pick the lock on a Halliburton, I'll put you on my back and fly us to L.A.
I know. How modern of me
I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner
It's kinda like, it doesn't scatter...quite right
Doctors make the worst patients
That's a lot of peanut butter
I think I liked you better when you just hit people with your stick
As long as the dead guy says there's a good reason, I guess everything's just peachy
Because then we'd have to dig another grave
When's your birthday
QuoteCharater
I do this for all the girls I meet on deserted islands
Should I keep the meter running
Are you on the same island as I am
This conversation already happened, we just don't remember it
Have a cluckity-cluck-cluck day, Hugo
No I like dogs
How did they open it - the door that says quarantine
Everything smells of Bacon
Should I go and get a ruler
We have 2 giant hamsters running on a massive wheel at our secret underground lair
We can't even get fire
I think I just realized that I want to live
You don't wait with warnings. You...warn
So we saved the world together for a while, and that was lovely
Well yeah, here's my favorite leaf! How could I forget this place

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