Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
'Sorry Mum!'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'I don't wear socks.'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'And I can see in the dark!'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'Narnia!'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'...cause cats like fish....'
'I love Big Red Bus!'
'Will you marry me?'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'Potato!'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'Daisy Hills.'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'Oreos.'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'Hesitation!'
QuoteBand Member
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'I can wrap a present...'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'What's a bucket list?'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
'A triangle!'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'Simple, but effective....'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'I'm a song!'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
'You horrible man!'
'Direction One!'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'We're the four best friends!'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'We don't take showers!'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
QuoteBand Member
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'Referee!!??!'
'Let's do this poo!'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'I've got four nipples.'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'AHH! The light!'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'3, apple, game!'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'What's up, dawg?'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'I'd be invisible.'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'Wrong answer!'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'I like rabbits!'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'Schooley-booley!'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'I split my trousers!'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'Commando!'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'Vas happenin!'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'What is porn?'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'

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