Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'I'm the Irish one.'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
'Vas happenin!'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'Wrong answer!'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'What's a bucket list?'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'Will you marry me?'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'Sorry Mum!'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'A triangle!'
'What is porn?'
'You horrible man!'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'Commando!'
'I don't wear socks.'
QuoteBand Member
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'Narnia!'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'I split my trousers!'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'What's up, dawg?'
'I'm a song!'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'AHH! The light!'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'Hesitation!'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'Let's do this poo!'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'Schooley-booley!'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'I like rabbits!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'Oreos.'
'...cause cats like fish....'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'I can wrap a present...'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
QuoteBand Member
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'I'd be invisible.'
'3, apple, game!'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'I've got four nipples.'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'Potato!'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'Referee!!??!'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'Daisy Hills.'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'I love Big Red Bus!'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'We don't take showers!'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'We're the four best friends!'
'Direction One!'
'And I can see in the dark!'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'Simple, but effective....'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'

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