Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'What's a bucket list?'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'Schooley-booley!'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'A triangle!'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'Wrong answer!'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'Hesitation!'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'I've got four nipples.'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'Sorry Mum!'
'You horrible man!'
'Will you marry me?'
'We're the four best friends!'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'I love Big Red Bus!'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
QuoteBand Member
'I'm a song!'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'Direction One!'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'Referee!!??!'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'I don't wear socks.'
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'Vas happenin!'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'...cause cats like fish....'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'Let's do this poo!'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'We don't take showers!'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'Narnia!'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
QuoteBand Member
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'I'd be invisible.'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'Simple, but effective....'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'Potato!'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
'Commando!'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'What is porn?'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'I like rabbits!'
'I split my trousers!'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
'What's up, dawg?'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'And I can see in the dark!'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'Daisy Hills.'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'Oreos.'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'3, apple, game!'
'AHH! The light!'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'I can wrap a present...'

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