Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'What is porn?'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'Oreos.'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'We're the four best friends!'
'Direction One!'
'Narnia!'
'I split my trousers!'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'Commando!'
'Hesitation!'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'A triangle!'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
QuoteBand Member
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'And I can see in the dark!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'You horrible man!'
'Let's do this poo!'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'Simple, but effective....'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'Will you marry me?'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'Referee!!??!'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'I love Big Red Bus!'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'I've got four nipples.'
'We don't take showers!'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'3, apple, game!'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'What's a bucket list?'
'Schooley-booley!'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'I'm a song!'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'I don't wear socks.'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'...cause cats like fish....'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
QuoteBand Member
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'Wrong answer!'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'Vas happenin!'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'Potato!'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
'What's up, dawg?'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'AHH! The light!'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'Daisy Hills.'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'I like rabbits!'
'Sorry Mum!'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'I can wrap a present...'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'I'd be invisible.'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'

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