Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'Daisy Hills.'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'I'd be invisible.'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'3, apple, game!'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'I love Big Red Bus!'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'Vas happenin!'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'What's up, dawg?'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'Direction One!'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'What's a bucket list?'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'I split my trousers!'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'Wrong answer!'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
QuoteBand Member
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'...cause cats like fish....'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'We're the four best friends!'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'Let's do this poo!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'I can wrap a present...'
'And I can see in the dark!'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'I've got four nipples.'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'What is porn?'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'I'm a song!'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'I like rabbits!'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
QuoteBand Member
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'A triangle!'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'You horrible man!'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'We don't take showers!'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'Sorry Mum!'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'I don't wear socks.'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'Simple, but effective....'
'Will you marry me?'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'AHH! The light!'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'Wayne Rooney!'

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