Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'I'm a song!'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'What is porn?'
'We don't take showers!'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'Will you marry me?'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'You horrible man!'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'3, apple, game!'
'Direction One!'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'I don't wear socks.'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'Vas happenin!'
'Commando!'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'What's up, dawg?'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'Schooley-booley!'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'Referee!!??!'
'I split my trousers!'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
QuoteBand Member
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'Potato!'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'What's a bucket list?'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'Let's do this poo!'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'...cause cats like fish....'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
'Wrong answer!'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'Narnia!'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'I can wrap a present...'
'Daisy Hills.'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
QuoteBand Member
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'I've got four nipples.'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'And I can see in the dark!'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'A triangle!'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'I like rabbits!'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'AHH! The light!'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'Simple, but effective....'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'Sorry Mum!'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'Hesitation!'
'Oreos.'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
'I'd be invisible.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'We're the four best friends!'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'I love Big Red Bus!'

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