Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'We don't take showers!'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'Simple, but effective....'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'Will you marry me?'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'I'm a song!'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'And I can see in the dark!'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'What's a bucket list?'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'Vas happenin!'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'...cause cats like fish....'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
QuoteBand Member
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'I can wrap a present...'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
'I split my trousers!'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'Let's do this poo!'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'What is porn?'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'I've got four nipples.'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'Daisy Hills.'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'You horrible man!'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'I'd be invisible.'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'Sorry Mum!'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'A triangle!'
QuoteBand Member
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'Wrong answer!'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'3, apple, game!'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'AHH! The light!'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'We're the four best friends!'
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'What's up, dawg?'
'I like rabbits!'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'Direction One!'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'I love Big Red Bus!'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'I don't wear socks.'

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