Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'I've got four nipples.'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'Direction One!'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'Simple, but effective....'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'I don't wear socks.'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'...cause cats like fish....'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'Let's do this poo!'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
'Wrong answer!'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'We don't take showers!'
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
QuoteBand Member
'Sorry Mum!'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'We're the four best friends!'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'I split my trousers!'
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'And I can see in the dark!'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'I can wrap a present...'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'You horrible man!'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'I'd be invisible.'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'I love Big Red Bus!'
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'Vas happenin!'
'AHH! The light!'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
QuoteBand Member
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'What's up, dawg?'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'A triangle!'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'Will you marry me?'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'I'm a song!'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'What's a bucket list?'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'3, apple, game!'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'Daisy Hills.'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'I like rabbits!'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'What is porn?'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'Echo, echo, echo!'

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