Who Said What: One Direction

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QuoteBand Member
'If I wasn't in the band, I reckon I'd be a virgin.'
'I really fancy Susan Boyle.'
'Schooley-booley!'
'I'm absolutely freezing...my peanuts off.'
'Sorry lads. Just a few technical difficulties.'
'Harry's outside pelting snowballs. What he doesn't know is there's a door in the way, and windows, and he can't get me.'
'Direction One!'
'I would probably do like a triple-backflip.'
'I'm left handed, I play the guitar right handed.'
'Wrong answer!'
'No, get off! This woman is trying to steal our award!'
'I'd date a fan, as long as she didn't scream in my face.'
'Three bananas for a euro.'
'I asked her out...by singing to her. She dumped me the next day.'
'Clearly, Liam doesn't have a favorite song. Mine, however, is 'Who Let the Dogs Out'''
'If it's legal, I'll marry food.'
'I do have quite a lot of hair.'
'He's just upset because I put mayonnaise in his shoes.'
'Daisy Hills.'
'Vas happenin!'
'We get paid in chocolate covered peanuts!'
'Well, judging by my eyebrows, mine would be quite huge!'
'I like muffins, but I think they're just ugly cupcakes.'
'Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you sleep.'
'I threw a TV out the window when I was six years old.'
'I did not have a passport before One Direction.'
'Echo, echo, echo!'
'I wear two pairs of socks every day.'
'...big issues in that lower department...'
'That's a very interesting question...attacked by angry birds!'
'I would date a fan, but she has to love me for me, not because I'm in One Direction.'
'If I weren't in the band, I'd be an English teacher.'
'Two minutes, dead. Wha!'
(on where he sees himself in 20 years): 'My hairline recedes!'
'Harry once shaved his initials into my legs!'
'We've been pulled over cause we were driving too slow!'
'I have a strange fear of spoons.'
'Harry's nudity is contagious!'
'AHH! The light!'
'Fluffy, was it?'
'I like rabbits!'
'Step one: put your dick in a box.'
'The laptop, it's missing!'
(in reply to 'A girl once showed her breasts!'): 'We loved it!'
'3, apple, game!'
'Pixie Lott, because she's hot.'
'You may not be plastic, but you're fantastic! Never forget that.'
'The fun is all in the chase.'
'I really fancy Katy Perry.'
'They can't hesitate, they can't laugh, and if I think it's wrong, it's wrong!'
'I would a, either be a Power Ranger, or if it comes to heroes, I'd be the Incredible Hulk.'
'I like girls who eat carrots!'
'Wayne Rooney!'
'Liam Payne!!!...and Zayn 'overweight' Malik!!!'
'I split my trousers!'
'A Barney-themed tune.'
'I'm putting my hat on, what the hell does it look like?...oh, god.'
''No' Jimmy protested.'
'As you all know, I'm a boy of very few words. Thank you.'
'Let's do this poo!'
'Eat more Wagon Wheels!'
'Being single doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to wait for what you deserve.'
'I never admit defeat!...Liam, you win...'
'And I can see in the dark!'
(on the Hunger Games): 'Is the concept that you have to fight while being hungry? Like, are you still hungry while you're fighting?'
'I am quite handy with a kazoo...'
'Oh my god, let's go surfing! Oh my god, this is great!'
'Tourist t-shirts.'
'Nobody can touch our fans except for us. Sorry, we get jealous easily.'
'Niall can be really scared by thunder storms....So...we all four sneak into his bed and cuddle him.'
'1, 2, 3...7!'
'My first celebrity crush was J-Lo. Who can resist that bum?'
'I'm most likely to do nudity.'
'Cheeseburgers and jelly babies.'
'What's a bucket list?'
'Fans always ask me to marry them, so I'm going to have a lot of wives.'
'I'm as terrifying as a...as a...baby penguin?'
'Man, you've got luscious lips!'
'...turning the page is the best feeling in the world because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.'
'Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!'
'I'm known as the more mature one.'
QuoteBand Member
(a tweet): 'hmmm I love my baby nandos :) x'
(what he can't live without): '...my heart.'
(on the nicest thing something has done for him): 'Kiss my face!'
'I'm a very protective boyfriend, yes.'
'Finding a ham and cheese sandwich with a good ham to cheese ratio is always tricky.'
'I love Sugarscape more than any other sweetener.'
'Oh my god man. Oh my god dude.'
'Oreos.'
'As for you, stop having curly hair!'
'We're all just normal people...' (Harry then slaps him)
'Hesitation!'
'What's up, dawg?'
(if he had one day to live, he'd): 'Surf!...See my family, as well...'
'I have plans to rap on a future 1D track, so....'
'Triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle...triangle!'
'I can wrap a present...'
'Do you think anyone knows I'm Irish?'
'Someone's just eating CocoPuffs at the moment, and that's from Mrs. Lou Tomlinson. Oh, your wife!'
'I told Liam I was gonna go to his house and then I never did. And now he doesn't like me.'
'Simple, but effective....'
'I'd pose naked for a hundred quid.'
'The vainest contestant in the house is Zayn Malik.'
'Nobody wants to see that.... Do you?'
'We love each other and we're gonna live happily ever after!'
'I'd be a birthday cake because I'd have a year before I got eaten.'
'Here's a coin. Keep the change, you filthy animal!'
'Trouser, trouser, trouser...Right in the balls! That's what I'm talking about!'
'My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson.'
'I'm being slowly seduced by your curls.'
'I want a simple bride that would lie under the stars with me.'
'I haven't got insurance.'
'I don't think any of them would be a bad boyfriend...'
'Yeah, usually you can hear me before you see me.'
'Tell us about your mum, Harry.'
'I think it's cute when girls sneeze.'
'Louis has smelly feet.'
'Potato!'
'There's no towels in this place, so I just use toilet roll.'
'If I was a food, I'd be a Rogan Josh!'
'I'm tired and it's winter!'
'We don't take showers!'
'I'm a big fat idiot!'
'Sorry Mum!'
'I have a picture on my nightstand with me and Harry.'
'If he's a bit tired, I'll go behind and push him along.'
'Not a beak, but the peak, of their fitness.'
'I'd probably be Susan Boyle....cause, um, you know, she's a good dancer.'
'We're the four best friends!'
'I don't even say that anymore!'
'Signing my first autograph was quite awkward because I didn't have one.'
'I'd like to make a shout out. SHOUT OUT!'
'Intelligence is sexy.'
'I heard Barack's a party animal.'
'Did you swallow a dictionary on the way over here?'
'I love Big Red Bus!'
(on which band member he'd be for a week): 'I'd be Max!'
'Two directions...that was not funny.'
'I got my trousers pulled down in a service station by Louis Tomlinson!'
'What's the crack-a-lacka-doo-doo?'
'Our stylist wants me to do a shoot in a mankini. I'm up for that.'
'Two Mars Bars for a euro!'
'She makes me wanna oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh...'
'I'm a song!'
'Mary?...She's mine.... SHE'S MINE!'
'I like girls who have a nice, pretty face.'
'Niall is obsessed with Barack Obama.'
'Get out of my kitchen!'
'Referee!!??!'
'If you liked it, don't come back.'
'I'm a massive softy!'
'Ah! Salt in my eye!'
'Since when are wrinkles hot?'
'Hi, I'm (his name) and I have TWO kidneys!'
'The Cheetah Girls.'
'ummm...looking for the remote...'
'Not Jim, he's a different guy. I brought them down to THE gym to get some workout.'
'With my knowledge and understanding of the football game, I feel like I should be a lot better at football.'
'We're not robots. We have feelings; we, we go through things, too.'
(In response to a bandmate saying they'd be invisible as a superpower): 'You already are, haha!'
'It's been years and years since I've pulled out the...Superman card, if you will.'
'He's talking ****! I'm the real deal.'
QuoteBand Member
(according to a fellow band member, he says this when they walk past paparazzi): 'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.'
'I'm a Bradford badboy, yo!'
'I hate dancing and I've never done it before and I just feel like an idiot.'
'It's all about the bromances!'
'Harry's fans are so hardcore, you won't believe.'
'It's all your fault, Paul!'
'Send your C-Section (our direction)'
'I'd be Niall, cause I wonder what goes on in his head sometimes.'
'That was a love bite from Louis Tomlinson.'
'Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain.'
'Juggling with phones and wallet.'
'What is porn?'
'We believe in you, old chaps!'
'Holy fuc-dgecakes.... Holy fudgecakes!'
'Will you marry me?'
'Zayn can make a girl faint just by looking at her. He truly is a power ranger!'
'I used to have an imaginary friend, called Michael.'
'Vas happenin mum? Vas happenin Mick (Jagger)?'
'What, like it's a war between McDonald's employees? Like, 'Get me the Big Mac?''
'If you carry bananas with you when you drive, you can throw them at people.'
'...cause cats like fish....'
'Don't call a girl obsessed when she's in love.'
'He's not an endurance man....Take it or leave it.'
'Howdy! Guess what? I got my first bra!'
'I've got four nipples.'
'That's why I chose the back row of the cinema!'
'Niam is definitely real.'
'My mum got pushed over by a pink power ranger!'
(on strange rumors): 'I was dead once...twice.'
'I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night, rather than my pillow.'
'I'm going for 1:58'
'I'm the Irish one.'
'Yes, I like every type of cheese!'
'It's not our interview, but I'm gonna butt in, anyway.'
'You pet the dog, you screw the lightbulb, and then you just go crazy!'
'I dedicate 'I Want' to Nandos.'
'You horrible man!'
'I'm an eighth Belgium!'
'We love it when Harry's naked!'
'I can't help but look into the crowd to see if I can see my future wife.'
'Sounds corny, but it's my thing.'
'A triangle!'
'Send your collection our direction!'
'I don't want to date a model because models are perfect and perfect is boring.'
'This is a jumper.... It doesn't jump.'
'Well...it's a man's world.'
'I'd be invisible.'
'Connie, do the washing up!'
'It was an expensive boat, but we did steal it, so.'
'And I'd marry you, Harry, cause it rhymes...'
'My worst habit is getting naked all the time.'
'Zoe will be eating fruit off my naked body!'
'Hey, Lou, can I give you a blow job?'
'What did you call the cat again?...You called it a pussy, didn't you?'
'I broke a pencil in half!'
'Got the th-th-thesaurus!'
'Move in with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air!'
'...cause pizza is nicer....'
'I don't think The Notebook is that great.'
'Ice cream very loudly!'
'DJ Malik, DJ Malik.'
'I don't wear socks.'
'Narnia!'
'Now, to the untrained eye, this may look like a giant baby group, but we think it's goddamn cool!'
'I really like white, fluffy sheep.'
'I love pints, I love pints!'
'Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself too seriously is attractive to me.'
'Oh grandma, what's my name?'
'I try to be cool, but I'm not very good at it.'
'My pants will fall down when, if, I farted!'
'It's not nice when they pull your hair.'
'Ugh, Head and Shoulders, please!'
'We owe all of our career to electricity!'
'Commando!'
'I love with my heart, not my eyes.'
'Oh, not you again. Go away.'
'Niall once had a dream that all the food in the world was gone and he woke up crying.'
'To know that you can have such a massive effect on somebody's life is really overwhelming.'
'The next shot, why don't we just dive off?'
'I've tried to go for a bit of a smarter look. So I'm just trying to be a bit more serious.'
'The girls were lovely in the video!'

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