Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

Random Television or TV Show Quiz

Can you name the source of these words of wisdom: Homer Simpson ('H') or Peter Griffin ('P')?

Featured Aug 26, 2011

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QuoteHomer or Peter
To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
See, (daughter), things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
Aw, c'mon (wife), isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
Oh yeah? Well, according to paragraph 7, sentence 3, word 8 of the Geneva Convention... 'the'.
(Daughter), if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, (wife).
Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
(Son), everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
(Son), with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
(Daughter), vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, (wife). You're my silver medal.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
'To Start Press Any Key.' Where's the 'ANY' key?
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
People make up lies all the time. You know Vietnam? Never happened.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
I think (boss) picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Step aside, its time for me to do my fatherly duty. Haha I said duty, but no time to laugh about it now.
If by 'read', you mean 'imagine the naked lady', then yes.
Oh my god, (friend), there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
(Boss), I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Now kids, Daddy only drank so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
We're officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.

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