Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

Random Television or The Simpsons Quiz

Can you name the source of these words of wisdom: Homer Simpson ('H') or Peter Griffin ('P')?

Featured Aug 26, 2011

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QuoteHomer or Peter
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Oh my god, (friend), there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
Now kids, Daddy only drank so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, (wife).
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
We're officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.
To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
Step aside, its time for me to do my fatherly duty. Haha I said duty, but no time to laugh about it now.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
(Son), with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, (wife). You're my silver medal.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
I think (boss) picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
See, (daughter), things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Oh yeah? Well, according to paragraph 7, sentence 3, word 8 of the Geneva Convention... 'the'.
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
(Daughter), if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
People make up lies all the time. You know Vietnam? Never happened.
(Son), everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
Aw, c'mon (wife), isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
'To Start Press Any Key.' Where's the 'ANY' key?
(Boss), I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow.
If by 'read', you mean 'imagine the naked lady', then yes.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
(Daughter), vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

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