Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin

Random Television or quote Quiz

Can you name the source of these words of wisdom: Homer Simpson ('H') or Peter Griffin ('P')?

Updated Feb 14, 2014

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QuoteHomer or Peter
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Oh my god, (friend), there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
(Son), with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Oh yeah? Well, according to paragraph 7, sentence 3, word 8 of the Geneva Convention... 'the'.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
See, (daughter), things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
(Son), everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
People make up lies all the time. You know Vietnam? Never happened.
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
(Boss), I can't come to work today because I was in a terrible plane crash. My family is dead and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
'To Start Press Any Key.' Where's the 'ANY' key?
All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, (wife).
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, (wife). You're my silver medal.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
If by 'read', you mean 'imagine the naked lady', then yes.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Now kids, Daddy only drank so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
Son, this is a big day for you. Today, you become the man of the house, because, when we get home, your mother is going to kill me.
(Daughter), vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
(Daughter), if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
Step aside, its time for me to do my fatherly duty. Haha I said duty, but no time to laugh about it now.
We're officially on welfare. Come on, kids. Help me scatter car parts on the front lawn.
To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
I think (boss) picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
Aw, c'mon (wife), isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!

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