| Ad-libbed Quote | Movie Title | Character (Actor) |
| Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? | |
| Oh, your helmet is so big... | |
| A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. *Hiss* | |
| (-Do you wanna come?) Yes! Yeah. (-Are you sure?) Ask me again. (-Do you wanna come?) Yes! Yes. | |
| Welcome to prime time, *****. | |
| Ex-porn star. She's done it all. They say she starred in the world's first interracial hardcore loop... | |
| My Spider Sense is tingling, if you know what I'm talking about. | |
(-I didn’t kill my wife!) I don’t care! | |
| I bet you're the kind of guy that would **** a person in the *** and not even have the God damn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. | |
| Let me touch your hair. | |
| Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life. | |
| | Ad-libbed Quote | Movie Title | Character (Actor) |
| First person that comes out this ******* door gets a... gets a 'lead salad', you understand? | |
| Carrots? Why is it always carrots? I didn't even eat carrots. | |
| United States government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no? | |
| Now… bring me that horizon. | |
(*holding a severed toe* -Is this the man that was killed?) He seemed... taller. | |
| Listen the last man that said that to me was Archie Leach just a week before he cut his throat. | |
| (-Does this come standard?) Actually, it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over. | |
| Ow! You ******* hit me with the phone, dick! | |
| (-Could I have $17.50?) Seven...Bless your heart, of course you can have it! You got fifty cents? | |
| Eat lead, alien robot! …Evidently, they eat lead. Huh. | |
(-Yes, we are all different!) I’m not. | |
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