| Position | Name | Extra Info |
| Guard | |
| Forward | |
| Center | |
| Bench-Warmer | |
| Cheerleader | |
| Try Again | |
| Nope | |
| Even if this was the real Heat, no way | |
| Lithuanians don't count | |
| He's injured anyway | |
| Underpaid by the Knicks | |
| The real third member of the Big Three | |
| I wish he was on the team... | |
| Former Red Sox Great | |
| Its a me! Mario! | |
| The real third member of the Big Three | |
| Too old | |
| Too young | |
| He is fat | |
| Too old | |
|