| Description of Readers | Newspaper |
| 'is read by people who think they run the country' | |
| 'is read by people who think they ought to run the country' | |
| 'is read by people who actually do run the country' | |
| 'is read by the wives of the people who run the country' | |
| 'is read by people who own the country' | |
| 'is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country' | |
| 'is read by people who think it is' | |
| 'don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits' | |