| Quote | Person |
|---|
| 'Yeah, I checked all the rooms... no one's there. Check its collar or something.' | |
| 'Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.' | |
| 'I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em floories.' | |
| 'What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?' | |
| 'Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.' | |
| 'Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?' | |
| 'Its funny because he's fat!' | |
| 'Hello. How 'bout that ride in? I guess that's why they call it Sin City.' | |
| 'Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!' | |
| 'Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.' | |
| 'Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and ****.' | |
| 'I look like a nerdy hillbilly!' | |
| 'You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesar's Palace is it?' | |
| 'Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?' | |
| 'Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?' | |
| 'Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ri-tard.' | |
| 'Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.' | |
| 'Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That ****'ll come back with you.' | |
| 'Two beds is enough, we can share for a night. I'll bunk with Phil. That cool with you?' | |
| 'What're you talking about, Willis? That him!' | |
| 'The Doug we're looking for is a white.' | |
| | Quote | Person |
|---|
| 'You are literally too stupid to insult.' | |
| 'I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I won't ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone.' | |
| 'We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?' | |
| 'I think the cop car part's pretty cool.' | |
| 'Not you, fat Jesus.' | |
| 'Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Don't look at me. [the old man walks away] That's right. You better walk on. I'll hit an old man in public!' | |
| 'Listen to me, I'm gonna' tell you something. I know some sick people in my life, this guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I ever met in my life!' | |
| 'No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.' | |
| 'You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he's kind of a sweetheart.' | |
| 'You hear that? The baby's name is Tyler.' | |
| 'Yeah, I thought he looked more like a Carlos too, bud.' | |
| 'By the way man, where you get that cop car from?' | |
| 'We uh, stole it from these dumbass cops.' | |
| '*Nice*! High five there!... That's nice!' | |
| 'She's got my grandmother's Holocaust ring!' | |
| 'I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.' | |
| 'Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack.' | |
| 'It's got, ah, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. and that Jewish actor...' | |
| 'Hey, you've reached (name). Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a name and number and I'll get back to you.' | |
| 'Hey, this is (name). Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor: don't text me, it's gay.' | |
| 'I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.' | |
|
Famous Quotes
Famous Last Words
Famous Last Words II
