88 Odd Descriptions of Movies

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Plot descriptionMovie
Tom Hanks has history take place around him and is unaware. He also goes running for two years, but his brother serves as his double.
Emilio Estevez drinks while driving, gets arrested, and is forced to coach a lousy peewee hockey team as a result. Both grow up.
America fights Canada in a war over potty language. Saddam Hussein and Satan try to take over the world.
Robin Williams teaches an English class at an all boys school to think for themselves and seize the day. Red from That 70's Show forces his son, Wilson from House, to kill himself.
Matt Damon and Edward Norton play underground poker. John Malkovich splashes the pot whenever the f*** he pleases.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have a child. J-Lo dies in childbirth. Ben has no clue on how to be a father. Will Smith shows him the way.
A giant asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. Bruce Willis kills himself to save the planet.
Self centered Milwaukee Brewer Bernie Mac retires from baseball with 2,997 hits. He didn't know, and attempts a comeback to get three more, becoming a better person in the process.
A mentally-disabled Billy Bob Thornton is released from prison after serving a murder sentence. John Ritter is gay.
Jim Carrey's life is a hit TV show broadcast worldwide. He doesn't know.
Patrick Swayze is killed so Tony Goldwyn can launder money. Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg become targets as well. 'Unchained Melody.'
Matt Dillon outs Kevin Kline at the Oscars. Tom Selleck stalks Kline. Joan Cusack is left at the altar, both in the film and at Oscar time.
Michael Cera knocks up Ellen Page. Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner agree to adopt the baby. Ellen and Jason have an affair, which nearly ruins everything.
Javier Bardem stalks Josh Brolin across west Texas and Mexico looking for $2 million in drug money. Many people die along the way. Tommy Lee Jones is too late. 'Call it, friendo.'
Clint Eastwood takes Hilary Swank under his wing, trains her to become a world champion, then kills her with an overdose of adrenaline as she lays paralyzed in a hospital bed.
Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church head to California wine country ahead of Church's wedding. Giamatti falls in love with Virginia Madsen. Sandra Oh beats up Church.
Sylvester Stallone is a cop. Estelle Getty is his mother. Neither actor's career is the same after this film.
Sandra Bullock gets stuck driving a bus at a high rate of speed. Keanu Reeves decapitates Dennis Hopper in the subway.
Morgan Freeman is a tough-as-nails inner city high school principal. Lynne Thigpen helps get him arrested and nearly fired. The students march on city hall demanding his release.
Jimmy Stewart's family banking business is in debt. He is accused of stealing money. He wishes he was never born. His mouth is bleeding, Bert.
Leslie Nielsen invades a Beirut meeting of evil politicians and destroys them all. He then kills Ricardo Montalban at a baseball game.
Joe Pantoliano screws Oliver Platt out of the world heavyweight wrestling championship and his job. David Arquette and Scott Caan try to help him come back..
Jonah Hill gets period blood on his pants. Seth Rogen sets a police cruiser on fire. A bottle of vodka is dropped on a bus.
Casey Affleck and Michelle Monaghan are hired to find a druggie's daughter. Nothing is as it seems.
A biological weapon is hidden in an MTV character's shorts. He's completely oblivious.
Aliens destroy most of the major cities. Jeff Goldblum gives the alien mothership a 'cold'. Randy Quaid saves the world.
Hardware store owner Ray Romano and former U.S. President Gene Hackman campaign for both the affections of Maura Tierney and the mayorship of a small Maine town.
Jet Li pursues a relationship with Aaliyah in the middle of gang warfare between their families. DMX is among the victims.
Josh Hartnett tries to abstain from sex for Lent. He nearly makes it before being raped by his ex-girlfriend.
Tom Green is a struggling cartoonist who falsely accuses father Rip Torn of sexually molesting his brother after he crosses him one too many times. Multiple-time Razzie winner.
Plot descriptionMovie
Denzel Washington's son needs a heart transplant. He holds a hospital hostage until he gets it.
Widower Steve Carell falls in love with Juliette Binoche, unaware that his brother Dane Cook is her boyfriend.
Liam Neeson's daughter is kidnapped while on vacation in Paris. He makes a vow to get her back and to kill everyone in his path. Success.
Ralph Fiennes defeats John Turturro on 'Twenty-One' in a rigged program. No one will listen to Turturro about the rigging...until Fiennes testifies before Congress.
Macaulay Culkin outwits Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. A man in the neighborhood allegedly killed his family with a snow shovel.
It's Scotland vs. England in a war for independence. Mel Gibson wins Best Director and takes criticism for creative liberties taken.
Every NBA stars' ability is stolen by aliens except Michael Jordan's, because he's playing baseball. The Looney Tunes help him get the stars' abilities back.
A rubber-handed Woody Harrelson faces Bill Murray in a $1,000,000 winner-take-all bowling tournament to try to save an Amish town in Pennsylvania.
A talking pig wants to become a sheepdog. His film gets nominated for Best Picture. 'That'll do, Pig, that'll do.'
Thomas Ian Nicholas is a lousy Little Leaguer who breaks his arm. When it heals, he becomes a star pitcher for the Chicago Cubs.
Immature electronics salesman Simon Pegg's girlfriend breaks up with him ahead of a zombie invasion of London.
Jason Statham's heart is stolen from his body. He is equipped with an artificial heart that he must go to great lengths to keep charged.
Christian Slater's brother Bruce Boxleitner, a San Francisco police officer, is shot and killed in the line of duty and leaves him his patrol district. Ashley Judd's first film.
An albino bat, sacred to two African tribes, is stolen. The world's most famous animal recovery specialist is called in to retrieve it, or both tribes will fight to the death.
Dennis Quaid warns the world about global warming. Few believe his warning. A new Ice Age is the result.
Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau vie for Ann-Margret's affection while continuing a childhood rivalry that has continued into their old age.
Peter Finch is fired as news anchor for a struggling broadcaster. An on-air rant causes him to become a bigger star than anyone could've imagine
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad pursue an action figure so their sons can have a Merry Christmas. Phil Hartman tries to hook up with Arnold's wife.
Teacher Ryan Reynolds radically changes a school and town, to the dislike of David Paymer, who goes out of his way to discredit him. What he discovers forces HIM to change.
Vince Vaughn's gym is in danger of being taken over by Ben Stiller. Vaughn ends up taking over Stiller's gym instead.
John Cho and Kal Penn embark on a quest for hamburgers after getting high one night. Neil Patrick Harris steals their car. The world unfolds as it should.
Alcoholic private eye Bob Hoskins is hired to figured out who killed a Hollywood businessman. Christopher Lloyd is a human cartoon.
Santa Claus is thrown in prison for assaulting a drunk man playing him at a department store. Dylan McDermott defends him in court.
Vincent D'Onofrio goes crazy during basic training at Parris Island and kills R. Lee Ermey. Marines march to their camp singing the Mickey Mouse Club theme song.
Chevy Chase and his family ride a theme park roller coaster while John Candy is held at gunpoint. No charges, amazingly, are filed.
Richard Roundtree is the complicated man who no one understands but his woman. Can ya dig it?
Federal agent Johnny Depp goes undercover as a member of the Mafia and is taken under his wing by hitman Al Pacino. He nearly becomes too involved for his own good.
Baz Luhrmann sets a Shakespeare tragedy in modern times. Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes are the star-crossed pair. Everyone still talks like it's the middle ages.
Charles Grodin steals a rare diamond and tries to frame Miss Piggy for the crime.
Dustin Hoffman is an autistic savant. Tom Cruise is his exploitative brother. Kmart sucks. Gotta watch Wapner.
Plot descriptionMovie
Billy Dee Williams betrays Harrison Ford...or does he? Mark Hamill learns a terrible secret and loses his hand.
Orson Welles dies. His last word is the name of a childhood toy he once prized. Many regard this as the greatest film ever.
Mr. T inadvertently causes Burgess Meredith to die. He beats the title character by knockout, but is defeated in kind in a rematch.
Kiefer Sutherland kills Sally Field's daughter. He gets off on a technicality. She stalks him and kills him.
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore fall in love. Over. And over. And over. And over. And over.
Ernesto Guevara and a friend go on a motorcycle trip. Ernesto is changed by what he sees.
Jason Biggs is about to marry domineering Amanda Peet. Steve Zahn and Jack Black will have none of it. Neil Diamond gets kidnapped to help.
Faye Dunaway plays another famous actress. Based on a book that actress' daughter wrote. Don't keep wire hangers around.
Actors making a war movie become involved in one themselves. Robert Downey Jr. plays an Aussie playing a black man.
Ethan Embry wants to be with Jennifer Love Hewitt,. She tells him off. They end up together. Melissa Joan Hart wants everyone to sign her yearbook.
Danny Glover manages a baseball team. Heavenly bodies help them win the pennant. Tony Danza will die soon.
A Nickelodeon character tries to save his boss by retrieving a crown. David Hasselhoff is a speedboat.
Charles Rocket kidnaps Lauren Holly's husband. Jeff Daniels drives an '84 sheepdog.
The guys from South Park help form a new sports league. Robert Vaughn wants to change everything.
Winona Ryder gets committed to a mental institution. Angelina Jolie doesn't know where her aorta is. Still wins an Oscar.
The Cleveland Indians haven't won the World Series in over thirty years. A ragtag group of players make the team relevant again.
John Goodman is the only living heir to the British Crown. He's an American.
We revisit Lake Placid in 1980. Kurt Russell is Herb Brooks. A bunch of actors play the US Hockey Team. USA still wins.
Felicity Huffman plays a man who is becoming a woman. The kid from Air Bud becomes a gay porn actor.
Pierce Brosnan warns people in the second most desirable place to live in the USA that a volcano is going to erupt. No one listens until it's too late.
Geena Davis is a pirate trying to find a buried treasure. The studio goes bankrupt.
The future sees the remnants of the human race living as aquatic mutants. Kevin Costner pees in a bag.
Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis are forced to change their holiday plans when their daughter decides to surprise them by coming home.
Gwyneth Paltrow's entire life takes place in two separate universes. You catch a train, you die, apparently.
Steve Martin takes pride in making violent movies. Getting shot in the leg causes him to change his mind.
Irish actor Barry Fitzgerald plays a dying judge who lures ten people to an island and murders them.
An old fairy tale is brought to the silver screen in animated form. Angela Lansbury plays a singing teapot.
Roberto Benigni tries to make the Holocaust funny. 'Buon giorno, principessa.'

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Created Nov 24, 2009ReportNominate
Tags:description, odd, plot