| Quotes | Comedian |
|---|
| “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” | |
| “I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'” | |
| “Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework” | |
| “My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'” | |
| “Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke” | |
| 'I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.' | |
| | Quotes | Comedian |
|---|
| 'Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.' | |
| 'Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.' | |
| 'Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a l | |
| 'I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.' | |
| 'I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.' | |
| 'Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?' | |
|
Pixar Movies
Movie Quotes
Disney Songs
