| Quote | Name of Movie | Character |
| Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl. | |
| Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something. | |
| Come on, Sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection? | |
| Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? | |
| Uh oh. Underwear on the highway. Uh oh. | |
| Excuse please, but why do they call you 'booger'? | |
| You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles! | |
| Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash. | |
| Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies. | |
| It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. | |