Roast of AFC Teams

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Can you name the Roast of AFC Teams?

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Who knows how much videotaping it took for you to win. You had the best team of all-time and couldn't close the deal. The Salvation Army called, they want their sweatshirts back.
Congrats! Now you have two murderers on your team, are notorious for being the biggest group of thugs in the league, and other than that one year, you come up small in a big spot.
You'll always be second-class, but your coach has a first-class gut, as exemplified during the brawls at the postgame spread between he and members of the defensive line.
Your quarterback has won two Super Bowls, yet can't get girls without raping them. Plus, your city reeks of metal and blue-collar.
Your coach knows more about golf than football, you've been irrelevant for more decades than anyone can count, and you've become a nursing home for old Patriots.
Not much to rip on, but you're just boring, generic, hick-like, and except for one year in a very long history, you come up empty when it really matters.
The weather's nice, you have some nice players every now and then, but where it counts, you don't. How does that big goose egg in the Super Bowl column feel?
NFL is the most popular league, yet your city can't support this team at all, Everyone wanted to kill themselves when you had the Super Bowl, too.
You've had a very consistent history, but your coach looks like an intern, and none of your young stars have desire to play for you.
You live off the past and cling to one magical year, your all-time great has some pretty bare fingers. Plus, mind as well not even show up when its like 40 or below.
Good God, they took you away for a few years, and made the mistake of bringing you back. And as for your city, I think you've been roasted enough.
I'd rather get stabbed in the stomach than lose four Super Bowls in a row. Don't worry, those will be distant memories when you move to Toronto rather shortly. WIDE RIGHT!!!
The NFL put you in the league to revitalize football in the city. Nice job, guys, you're currently the only team in the four major sports never to make the playoffs.
Your one playoff run is largely due to a 'miracle', and it must sting pretty bad to come up one yard shy of winning a Super Bowl.
God, should I even roast you? Your owner wears adult diapers, you draft players based on swag, and you play in one of the most horrid cities in America. There.
Your players have a rap sheet longer than the Constitution, and this year, you'll probably have more stories written about you on TMZ than any relevant sports website.

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