Television / Whedon show quotes

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QuoteCharacterShow
To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice. With pie.Buffy
Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?Firefly
I go online sometimes, but...everyone's spelling is really bad, and it's... depressing.Buffy
Oh, forget about that evil witch. Let's talk about me. I'm good and pure and science turns me on...Angel
I brought her specially for you, to cheer you up. And I've named her Sunshine.Buffy
I am totally drunk-faced.Angel
I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.Dr. Horrible
We both know how this song ends. You, me, broken furniture...Angel
Uh, if I may suggest: 'This time it's personal.' I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic.Buffy
Yeah, yeah, Hulk smash.Angel
I'm not sure how old he is, but I heard him use the word 'newfangled' one time, so he's got to be pretty far gone.Buffy
They talk about me in the chatty rooms?Angel
Check out Giles: The Next Generation.Buffy
Uh, since Angel lost his soul, he's regained his sense of whimsy.Buffy
Who's flying this thing?!Firefly
I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake through the heart, no muss, no fuss.Buffy
How are things with 'Cheesy on the Outside'?Dr. Horrible
I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain.Buffy
So it's an evil limo. I get that. Does that mean we don't re-stock the cherries?Angel
Yeah, it's L.A. The evil's probably just tied up in traffic or something.Angel
We attack the mayor with hummus.Buffy
Jayne is a girl's name.Firefly
Hmm... there should be a play.Angel
Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' Americans.Buffy
You made a bear!Buffy
Get a job, you lazy sow!Angel
A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.Firefly
Dear diary – today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.Firefly
I believe you said something about... a massacre.Angel
“Oh, God… Angel. Oh, Angel… we can't. I love you but you were so bad. You ate babies.” Chicks…Angel
QuoteCharacterShow
I like my evil like I like my men. Evil! You know, straight up black-hat-tie-you-to-the-train-tracks-soon-my-electro-ray-will-destroy-Metropolis bad!Buffy
'Sunburst splendor' is a hue more worthy of a champion. Or perhaps this unique one called... 'Purr-Pleh.'Angel
I'm thinking about buying something very expensive. Maybe an antelope.Buffy
Do the astronauts have weapons?Angel
We ended a nefarious global domination scheme. Not world peace. Right?Angel
Don't ever go to a 'free virgin blood' party. Turns out it's probably a trap.Angel
Damn. This is so much harder than it looks on Batman.Angel
It's an omen! It's a higher power trying to tell me through bunnies that we're all gonna die! Oh God!Buffy
This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.Buffy
It does seem like you've given in to the grumpy side of the Force.Angel
You’re like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog! More beautiful than ever. He’s alive, Frodo – he’s alive!Angel
Warren's the boss. He's Picard. You're Deanna Troi. Get used to the feeling, Betazoid.Buffy
Well, they tell ya, 'Never hit a man with a closed fist.' But it is, on occasion, hilarious.Firefly
You're driving a spork into your leg.Dr. Horrible
I'm marveling at the wrongness of that idea.Angel
Also, I can kill you with my brain.Firefly
Chocolate! Ohh, chocolate! I love chocolate... but not, as it turns out, yogurt. Ugh!Angel
I was right - it was the batteries.Angel
You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!Buffy
Evil doesn't have to mean sloppy.Angel
What rhymes with lungs?Buffy
Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please.' And afterwards I get a cookie.Buffy
Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust.Angel
You're not handicapped. You're handi-capable.Angel
You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also, it's day.Buffy
I mean honestly – what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley?Angel
Violence is not gonna solve a thing... on the other hand, it's kind of festive.Angel
They're itty bitty hockey sticks!Angel
'Made with care for Randy.' Randy Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles,' or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason I hated you!Buffy
It's about time the English got what's comin' to 'em. I'm rootin' for the slave.Angel

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