amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Nobody ever says Italy...
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
The pointy kitty took it!
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
I'm an ugmo.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
Death stalks you at every turn!
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Gotta nuke something.
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.

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