amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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QuoteCharacter
Gotta nuke something.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
I'm an ugmo.
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
QuoteCharacter
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Nobody ever says Italy...
The pointy kitty took it!
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Death stalks you at every turn!
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.

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