amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Gotta nuke something.
I'm an ugmo.
Nobody ever says Italy...
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
The pointy kitty took it!
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
Death stalks you at every turn!

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