amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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QuoteCharacter
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Death stalks you at every turn!
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
I'm an ugmo.
QuoteCharacter
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
Gotta nuke something.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
Nobody ever says Italy...
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
The pointy kitty took it!
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.

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