amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
Death stalks you at every turn!
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Gotta nuke something.
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
Nobody ever says Italy...
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
I'm an ugmo.
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
The pointy kitty took it!
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.

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