amusing Simpsons quotes

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Can you name the Simpsons character who said this?

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Hey, you know what’s even better is Jesus – he’s like six leprechauns!
I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt?
No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.
Attention, class - in what year was two plus two?
The pointy kitty took it!
No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
I was with IT once, then they change what IT was, now I am not with IT anymore and what IT is scares me.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Roads closed, pipes frozen. Albinos... virtually invisible.
Now who can tell me the atomic weight of balonium?
Eww! That's what we look like inside?! Disgusting! Ugh! That lady swallowed a baby!
Nobody ever says Italy...
I'm an ugmo.
They’ve got this thing called a ‘fire drill’ – they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.
So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!
Death stalks you at every turn!
I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can’t do anything right!
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur.
Gotta nuke something.
I didn't lie. I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Lisa, our country was founded by a clique - the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
Well, it’s kind of a love song… all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, holding their evil in check.
It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!
Don't make fun of grad students. They just... made a terrible life choice.
Tell you what - we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.
Don't you worry about Wikipedia, we'll change it when we get home... We'll change a lot of things.
In fifty years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...

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