Football (soccer) Quotes : Who said ?

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Can you name the authors of these various football quotes?

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HintThey said itQuote
Welsh Lapalissade master“I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country”
Brazilian striker“I’m sure sex wouldn’t be so rewarding as this World Cup. It’s not that sex isn’t good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not”
Ukrainian manager'To me, there's no such thing as a scorer, a midfielder or a defender. There are only football players, who must be able to do everything on the pitch.'
Italian goalkeeperOn Pirlo : 'It's the bargain of the century for us. Seeing him play in front of my back line, it made me realize that God does exist.'
English striker“Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, a referee makes a slew of mistakes and at the end, Germany always wins.”
Scottish managerOn Pippo Inzaghi : “That lad must have been born offside.”
Argentine playmaker“Playing against a defensive opponent is just as bad as making love to a tree.”
German playmaker“For me, heading a ball was similar to touching the ball with your hands.”
Italian manager'In this game, there were two, three or four players who were weak like an empty bottle!'
Brazilian legend, father of all modern fullbacks'I don’t envy today’s fullbacks for the money they make. I envy them for the freedom they’ve got to attack.”
English striker, not superstitious“I don’t believe in superstitions. I just do certain things because I’m scared in case something will happen if I don’t do them.”
Future Real Madrid 'player''Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.'
Brazilian striker“God created me to delight people with goals.”
Brazilian goalscoring legend“My shooting technique is so poor that if someday I score from outside the box, the keeper has to be banned from football.”
Swedish strikerOn Stephane Henchoz : “First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog.”
English manager“When I’ve got nothing better to do, I look down the league table to see how Everton are getting along.”
HintThey said itQuote
Dutch midfielder, played in Ligue 1“While sitting on the bench you develop strange thoughts. You hope certain team mates play rubbish. Or get an injury. Not a painful one, but one that lasts very long. You feel like a gas station owner hoping that his competitor’s station burns down.”
French playmaker“What Zidane can do with a football, Maradona could do with an orange.”
Argentine striker'On a World Cup goal against Brazil :''The Brazilian version is the best, because you feel like the announcer wants to commit suicide because of me. When my kids call me to watch it I say, Ok, but only if you put the Brazilian comments !'
Dutch magnificent defender“Football is not an art, but it is an art to play it well.”
French philosopher/writer'In football everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.'
Dutch legend“If you play on possession, you don’t have to defend, because there’s only one ball.”
English centre back, Maradona victim“The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath”
English manager“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.”
Scottish midfielder and managerOn Rooney : “It’s an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.”
English player and manager“I would have given my right arm to be a pianist.”
English goalkeeper'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out'
Northern Irish booze lover“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
Dutch legend'We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match.'
French striker/poet“My best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer is when I kicked the hooligan.”
Australian striker'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league'
Italian miedfielder'I can only ever dream of the kind of skill Ronaldinho has. To put us on par is an insult to soccer'

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