| Quote | Character |
|---|
| 'I would rather be sterilized. With a spoon.' | |
| 'All right. That's it. Which one of you lot Transfigured my towel while I was in the bath? You can answer honestly, I'm going to kill you all anyway.' | |
| 'You stole my cake? I thought I ate it while I wasn’t paying attention.' | |
| 'Why is your tea so much less murderous than my tea?' | |
| 'Ten points from Gryffindor for destroying my soul.' | |
| 'Wow. When did I end up in your arms, Kings? Your stomach is like steel. It is more than steel. No one is going to believe me but you are more mountain than man, mate.' | |
| 'I do so love mistletoe.' | |
| 'Shut up, shut up, Fabian Prewett. I really sort of love you.' | |
| 'I could have sworn I heard the wind rustling: 'Sandwiches!' it seemed to cry. It almost sounded like someone I knew, before he died. Tragic. Just tragic.' | |
| 'It's like— like being raped by a marshmallow, is what it's like.' | |
| 'FUNNIFICATION IS NOT A WORD MOONY. Lack of structured education has made you go soft!! oh how the mighty have fallen!' | |
| 'Good Lord, it's an invasion. They are everywhere. Like rabbits. And O! how tall they are, and strapping, and so on. Gone the carefree days of boyhood. Sunrise, sunset.' | |
| 'You and Sirius are acting very odd. I am not going to kill you. Not right now, anyway. Mistake. You were in a hurry. Clearly something is happening and who am I to interfere, eh?' | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| 'It is so tempting. I have always wanted a manslave.' | |
| 'Mister Black! Twelve million points from Gryffindor! | |
| 'Now, of course, I'm sure you're very curious about all these new feelings you're having, and I want you to know that you needn't be ashamed of any of them, and I want you to ask m | |
| 'OXFORD. MONKEYWRENCH. AARDVARK. CHECK PLEASE.' | |
| 'Orgy? I mean, er, password?' | |
| 'You're good at toast. I am so sorry. This must be painful.' | |
| 'Are you or are you not hip to my jive?' | |
| 'But I am fond of you. Cheer up. Valentines are hard, and you do try your best. It's rather endearing, actually. Though it isn't manly.' | |
| 'I practically taught you to dress, you little wart. Aren't those boots mine?' | |
| 'Repeat after me, Mr. Black: I do believe in commas. I do, I do.' | |
| 'Did all the crepe paper in the world come here to die?' | |
| 'I'VE GOT NEW SOCKS ON!!' | |
|
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