US History by Dave Barry 2

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Can you name the following 'facts' from American history, according to the book Dave Barry Slept Here?

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QuestionAnswer
Which Englishman founded a colony in present-day North Carolina, only to permanently lose it despite friends asking him 'Where did you see it last?'?
Which crop's discovery helped ensure the success of the Jamestown colony after being marketed with the slogan, 'It won't gradually turn your lungs into malignant lumps of carbon!'?
What national holiday traces its origins to a 1621 Puritan celebration of a successful harvest, which was followed by watching the traditional Lions-Bears game?
Which historic document begins with 'When in the course of human events', and continues later with 'nobody ever reads all the way through these legal documents'?
Which famous Emanuel Leutze painting implausibly depicts George Washington in a rowboat with 'a group the size of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir'?
Which amendment to the Constitution states that 'you have the right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty?'
Which 1804-1806 expedition discovered that the Louisiana Purchase contained not just Louisiana, 'but a whole bunch of other states as well'?
Which two presidents preceding Abraham Lincoln were so inconsequential that 'as far as we can tell, they were both president at the same time'?
Which territory, acquired by Secretary of State Seward Folly in 1867, was so inconveniently located that Congress voted to shrink and relocate it for easier map-making?
Which U.S. president spent much of the year after his presidency by going to Africa and 'attempting to kill every animal larger than a wristwatch'?
QuestionAnswer
Which commodity did John D. Rockefeller monopolize in the late 19th century, allowing him to become wealthy by 'putting hotels on both Park Place and Boardwalk'?
What 'noble experiment' passed the U.S. House of Representatives with a 'vote of 9-2', with 416 members absent due to 'severe headaches'?
In which early 20th century organization did Britain and France have 1-0 win-loss records, compared with 0-1 records for Germany and Austria?
Fill in the blank: Warren Harding won the 1920 presidential election by promising a 'return to ____', which 'as far as we know is not even a real word.'
Which John Steinbeck novel, along with its much lesser-known companion 'Pinto Beans of Lust', captured the bleak nature of the Great Depression?
What term is used to describe the British-French foreign policy of the 1930s that said, 'if you can't trust an insane racist criminal dictator, whom can you trust'?
In which landmark 1954 court case did the Supreme Court end school segregation by ruling that 'nobody, black or white, should have to go to school in Topeka, Kansas'?
Which Soviet satellite, launched in 1957, had global consequences such as forcing all the students in Mrs. DeLucia's 5th-grade class to 'study a LOT more science and math'?
What vague condition did Jimmy Carter describe as afflicting the U.S. in the 1970s, surprising those who thought the problem was '652 billion percent' unemployment and inflation'?
Which 1984 presidential candidate promised to raise taxes in a shrewd move that 'earned him the support of more than half the members of his immediate family'?

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Created Mar 2, 2013Editor's PickSourceReportNominate
Tags:nation, America, humor, US History