| Quote | Movie | Year |
| 'The old must make way for the new, especially when the old is suspected of senility.' | |
| 'You'd think Mama had never seen a phone. She makes no allowance for science. She thinks she has to cover the distance by sheer lung power.' | |
| 'A guy can't help being a German if he's born a German, can he?' | |
| 'Wouldn't it be a little too much if we both grinned at her like idiots.' | |
| 'Oh now surely, Madam, you're not going to tell me that there hasn't been a time that you didn't want to dispose of someone. Your husband, for instance?' | |
| 'We haven't had a good juicy series of sex murders since Christie. And they're so good for the tourist trade.' | |
| 'Only one is a wanderer; two together are always going somewhere.' | |
| 'Contact Pi.' | |
| 'They talk about flat-footed policemen. May the saints protect us from the gifted amateur.' | |
| 'Are you sure you were talking about water skis? From where I sat it looked as though you were conjugating some irregular verbs.' | |
| 'Oh, I beg your pardon. Was that your leg? I had no idea we were going into a tunnel. I thought the compartment was empty.' | |
| 'But she said it before. Or was it after? I can't recall.' | |
| 'Tell them in London... tell them to try Ambrose Chapel...' | |
| | Quote | Movie | Year |
| 'There are 20 million women in this island and I get to be chained to you.' | |
| 'Hate the smell of dampness, don't you? It's such a, I don't know, creepy smell.' | |
| 'When a guy like me gets kidnapped by a woman, he wants her to be twenty-five.' | |
| 'You Freud, me Jane?' | |
| 'What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change. Yes sir. How's that for a bit of homespun philosophy?' 'Reader's Digest, April 1939.' | |
| 'Go ahead. Jump. He never loved you, so why go on living? Jump and it will all be over...' | |
| 'You don't really approve of murder, Rupert? If I may?' 'You may, and I do. Think of the problems it would solve: unemployment, poverty, standing in line for theatre tickets.' | |
| 'Can I help?' 'Only by going away.' 'No, no, no, no. My father always taught me, never desert a lady in trouble. He even carried that as far as marrying Mother.' | |
| 'I've been shot...Just a little.' | |
| 'I trust he died peacefully. Slipped away in the night?' 'He was caught in a threshing machine.' | |
| 'On Mondays and Wednesdays I work for the Travelers Aid at the airport.' 'Helping travelers?' 'No, misdirecting them.' | |
| 'An innocent man has nothing to fear, remember that.' | |
| 'What's wrong with men like me?' 'They don't believe in marriage.' 'I've been married twice.' 'See what I mean?' | |
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