| Quote | Character |
|---|
| If the devil had a name, it'd be CHUCK... FINLEY! | |
| Well in my experience if something seems too good to be true it's best to shoot it just in case. | |
| Just 'checking in'? He's got a weird thing for you. | |
| Sam, let me remind you you're sleeping in my guestroom. All right, you call me or God as my witness I will smother you in your sleep. | |
| We try not to talk about our upcoming felonies. You know. | |
| I work plenty hard lady. I just make it look easy. | |
| No wonder I got my ass kicked. | |
| You should see the other guy. | |
| You know you missed your father's funeral... by eight years. | |
| Name's Cristo. Like Madonna, the whole one name thing. | |
| Yes, yes, I love my dirt. | |
| You know, some guys take girls to the beach, concerts, farmers' markets. Ugly Polish military intelligence offices, not so much. | |
| The target has to be put into a fragile psychological state. Fortunately, fragile psychological states are a specialty of Fiona's. | |
| Okay, so bad cop, badder cop...worse cop? I can live with that. | |
| Oh look! It's the man who blew my house up! Glad to see your having such a sun shiny day, Sam. | |
| Honestly, I don't know why they bother. They should just put a bullet in your head and be done with it. | |
| Even a day at the beach isn't a day at the beach with you people. | |
| Butch, Sundance, cool it | |
| Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart | |
| Getting shot sounds noble until it actually happens to you. Don't volunteer for it unless it's absolutely necessary. | |
| I deal in everything. Guns so people can shoot each other, medicine to get them ready for round two. | |
| They were like Frick and Frack, weren't they? | |
| You say tomato, I say pimp. | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| Sometimes you have to be your own white knight. | |
| He stepped out on the balcony to get some air, dammit! | |
| The next time you go 'Chuck Norris' on some guy, don't do it in one of my favorite bars! | |
| 'Dead'- is that a figure of speech? | |
| This was my idea. I should have gotten to hit him! | |
| Her and Fiona would have a good time..or kill each other. | |
| Either that's a brilliantly disguised bomb or somebody knows the way to your heart. | |
| It's not so bad as safe houses go. You got a TV at least. I once spent three days in a Riyadh storage facility with nothing but a flashlight and an Arabic celebrity magazine. | |
| Sorry I'm late, I was sitting in the car for the last ten minutes with your head in the cross-hairs of a rifle, wondering if I should shoot the man who ruined my life. | |
| It's funny. You never really know a car until you drive it through a wall. | |
| I raised two boys Jesse, I *know* how to search a house... | |
| Move over, you're lying on my C4. | |
| You can beat yourself up about it later, I'll help. | |
| Is it strange that that I am kind of missing you? | |
| Charles Finley had a shotgun wedding for the sake of his cover. That's Charlotte, the old ball and chain. | |
| Fun? I remember him making me fake a seizure at Mr. Goodwrench so he could steal spark plugs. | |
| Ooh he called him a 'pendejo', it's like idiot but ruder. | |
| Hurricane Jesse here is doing more damage with a crowbar than hurricane Dana did. He's worse than Sam! | |
| Where there's smoke, there's Fi. | |
| Hey Nate, you look clean. You shaved the ferret off your face. | |
| Disney World? Why in God's name would I want to go to Disney World? | |
| I was vague. I said I was a freelance superhero Robin Hood kinda guy. | |
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