The Onion Articles

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Can you name the missing word (singular) in 'The Onion' article titles?

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Article TitleMissing Word
__________ Basketball Game Enjoyed For All The Wrong Reasons
Worthless Dog Can't ____, Drive, Solve Crimes
Trophy Wife _______
_________ Employee Just In It For The Money
In Retrospect, I Guess We Might Have Resorted To __________ A Bit Early
_______ Adds Swastika, Middle Finger To State Flag
I'm Like A Chocoholic, But For_____
ACLU Defends _____ Right To Burn Down ACLU Headquarters
Report: Drug Use Down Among ______ Kids
______ Starving For A Reason
VCR Fast-Forwarded With ___
__________ Sufferers Demand Cure For Pancakes
Depression Hits ______ Hardest
Newcomer Changes Small Town's Anti-_______ Statute
Romantic Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man _______
____ Under Investigation For Failure To Provide
8-Year Old Accidentally Exercises ______-Amendment Rights
Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad ______
Your _________: Should You Consider Talking To Them?
Report: 98 Percent of US Commuters Favor Public Transportation For ______
Article TitleMissing Word
_____ Sprinter Finishes Fifth
_____-Americans Defying Traditional Stereotypes: More And More Are Lazy, Stupid
Crazy Man Announces Plans To Stand In Doorway, Yell At ____ All Day
_____ Falls Equivalent Of 10 Stories
450,000 Unsold _____ Day Issues Of Time Magazine Trucked To Landfill
US ____ Healthcare Better Than Rwandan Humans'
Like Boxes Of **** In Your House? Get a ___
NFL Star Thanks Jesus After Successful Double ________
School Bully Not So Tough After Being ________
I Lost 32 Pounds in 15 Days And ____!
_____ Win War On _____
____ Technology: Why Is It So Far Behind The Razor And Toothbrush Fields
_________ Extremely Annoyed By Delayed Flight
Auto Industry Agrees To Install ______ In SUVs
Arabs, Israelis Sign '_____ Peace' Accord
New Children's ________ Filled To Capacity: Owner Overjoyed By Success Of Just-Opened Business
Special ________ T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game
God Answers Prayers Of Little Boy: '__' Says God
______ Kills Two, Injures Seven In Abortion-Clinic Attack
Starship Crew Heroically Saves ______

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