'Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!'

'In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher''

'For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.'

'It reminds me of my favorite poem, which is, 'Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic... and so am I!''

'Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples.'

'It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!'

'Please don't call me by my real name, it destroys the reality I'm trying to create.'

'Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.'

'Yeah, I was in the sh*t.'

'The crying on the inside kind, I guess.'

'We're the United States of America! We're ten and one!'

'I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think.'

'Viggy, Viggy, Viggy, you have been a bad monkey!'

'I like it when people come up to me the next day, or a week later, and they say, 'I saw your play. What happened?''

'Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies.'