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Sporcle Top 5: Playground Features You’re Too Old For

Sometimes at Sporcle HQ we get the chance to talk a little nonsense, and lo and behold, a Sporcle Top 5 is born. Keep checking back on the Sporcle Blog to see what we think of next.

Many things suck about growing up: you don’t get as many Christmas presents, the toys today are way cooler than when you were a kid, and you can’t eat loads of candy without getting sick.  But one of the worst things is that you can’t enjoy the playground anymore like you used to. We’ve collected the 5 most pressing reasons below.

1) Slides

The last time you tried to go down the slide it took a full five minutes. It was like a can of cranberry jelly slinking into a pile of wood chips.

2) Monkey Bars

While the novelty of being able to stand perfectly straight and still touch the monkey bars was awesome at first, most of the challenge now is not spraining your shoulder while reaching above your head.

3)  Merry-Go-Rounds

If you wanted to get the spins and feel nauseous, you could have just stayed at the local bar.

4) Plastic Playgrounds

Plastic crap everywhere.  Gone are the days of wooden splinters and metal burns. Congratulations: you’re old.

5) Swings

Just because you have a hairy back, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever get a push. Wait, yes it does.

If you have other playground features you can no longer enjoy because you’re too old, be sure to add them in the comments!

 

Sporcle Top 5: Reasons To Be Glad Samuel L. Jackson Is Not Your Dad

After our 100th viewing of the cinematic classic “Snakes on a Plane” a few days ago, we came to a startling revelation: It would really suck if legendary actor Samuel L. Jackson was your dad. While we certainly think  he is one seriously cool dude, we decided to come up with what we think would be the biggest downsides to having such a bad-ass dad.

1) Having a pet snake would be a no-go.

 

 

 

 

 

2) You would probably be forced to watch all of the Star Wars Prequels.

 

 

 

 

 

3) You might get shot for saying “What?” one too many times.

 

 

 

 

 

4) Your teachers just haven’t been the same since the PTA meeting.

 

 

 

 

 

5) Let’s put it this way, your little sister’s first word isn’t going to be “dada”.

 

 

 

 

 

If you have other reasons to be glad Samuel L. Jackson is not your dad, be sure to add them in the comment section!